Two Cows

Helps you understand how different cultures / economies / religions address the same issue…

These are meant to be light hearted national characteristic illustrations and are not meant to offend anyone…

Capitalism ~ You have two cows…

  •  You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, the economy grows.
  •  You sell them and retire on the income.

But now put that into a cultural perspective and you get….

The English Company ~ You have two cows…

  • They are both mad yet you persist in trying to sell them into Europe.
  • The government takes them off you, milks them then throws the milk away.

The Italian Company ~ You have two cows…

  • You don’t know where they are.
  • You go to lunch… Life is good.
two cows

The French Company ~ You have two cows…

  • You wanted three cows so you strike.
  • You go to lunch… You see a pretty girl… Life is better than the Italians!

The German Company ~ You have two cows…

  • You engineer them to live 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
  • Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks holiday a year and your can’t fire them.

The Finnish Company ~ You have two cows…

  • They won’t reach consensus that they are cows, so milk production is halted.

The Belgian Company ~ You have ONE COW

  • Sometimes he is French, sometimes he is Flemish.
  • The Flemish cow won’t share with the French cow and the French cow wants control of the Flemish cow’s milk.

The Irish Company ~ You have two cows…

  • You claim government subsidies for 8 and feed them potatoes.
  • When they emigrate you are surprised but then realise it’s at least 6 hours since you had a Guinness so head to O’Malleys.

The Welsh Company ~ You have two SHEEP…

  • The one on the left looks VERY attractive.

The Spanish Company ~ You have two cows…

  • You stick horns on them, and get men to prance around an arena in clown’s outfits and throw spears at them until they bleed to death.

The Swedish Company ~ You have two cows…

  • You bought them from IKEA and assembled them yourself (cheaper).
  • The Volvo cars last a lot longer but don’t look as trendy

The Swiss Company ~ You have 5,000 cows…

  • None of which belong to you
  • You charge for storing them for others
  • If they give milk, you tell no one

The Greek Company ~ You have two cows…

  • You claim subsidy from the EU for 400 cows
  • Your 199 first cousins, who also have 2 cows each, do the same
  • When EU Inspectors come, you shift 400 cows from cousin to cousin (on EU subsidised motorways)
  • Everyone get subsidies for 400 cows
  • On the proceeds you open a hotel and drink Ouzo whilst your wife runs it

The Nigerian Company

  • DEAR FRIEND, I AM SON OF FORMER NIGERIAL PRESIDENT SANI ABACHA, YOU WERE RECOMMENDED TO ME BY A COLLEAGUE. I HAVE A PROPOSOTION FOR YOU. I HAVE TWO COWS…

The Russian Company ~ You have two cows…

  • You count them and learn you have 5 cows
  • You count them again and learn you have 42 cows
  • You count them again and learn you have 12 cows
  • You stop counting and open another bottle of vodka

The Australian Company ~ You have two cows…

  • You wrestle them for a while and business is good.
  • You close the office and have some beers to celebrate.

The Japanese Company ~ You have two cows…

  • You reverse engineer them to be a 20th of the size producing 100 times the milk.
  • You produce a cow cartoon called “cowkimon” which you market worldwide.

The American Company ~ You have two cows…

  • You sell the first cow, lease it back and make it produce the milk of 4 cows.
  • You IPO the second one
  • You sue the leasing company when the first cow dies from exhaustion.

Now you try it:

Your City or Area/State ~ You have two cows…

  • ……………………………………………………
  • ……………………………………………………

Your Company ~ You have two cows…

  • ……………………………………………………
  • ……………………………………………………
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